If my teacher were Irish, that would be his name. Macroeconomics is going to suck hardcore this year on account of my teacher being a pompous jerk with no idea that he isn't funny.
He spent a whole fucking hour explaining the syllabus. That would be fine if there were any mind boggling parts to it that required more than a 3rd grade reading level and a reasonably moderate understanding of how one receives an education.
Before he started covering the syllabus, he defined economics as "the management of scarce resources." Remember this, it will come in handy later.
Turn off your cell phones because it's respectful of your classmates. Don't sleep, because it's respectful to me. Don't do sudoku puzzles, because blah blah blah. As we relearned the concepts of the 10 point grading scale, plagiarism, and extra credit, we neared a contradiction. My teacher probably hadn't thought it through, and he had no idea he was going to be called out on it. The long list of unexcused absence examples included the following note: "Claiming to be sick but 'unable to afford to go to the doctor' is not an acceptable excuse."
I raised my hand, and the dialogue proceeded as follows:
Me: Is this your attendance policy or the school's?
Douchewad: Mine.
Me: I just wanted to clarify something, my only two options are 'pay the doctor $55 for a note that says I have the sniffles' or 'come here sick'?
DW: Yes.
Me: My scarce monetary resources prohibit me from making such an unnecessary trip to the doctor when I can easily treat it with a day of rest or over the counter drugs. Am I supposed to come to class at the expense of disrespecting my classmates by exposing them to my illness?
DW: No one said life was full of easy choices.
Me: No, but in a class that began with a description of scarce resources, I would think you would be sympathetic given the exorbitant cost of health care. Even still, not every sickness that keeps one out of the classroom is serious enough to merit even a copay.
DW: Look, I'm sure you're a trustworthy guy, but that's my policy.
Let me break that last line down for you: I have no logic, ergo I'm ending the conversation.
Add this upfront faux pas to his over-animated hand gestures, wacky facial expressions, and witless attempts at humor, and you've got one long fucking semester looking at you. I mean me. Shit.
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3 comments:
corey, you're my hero. can you come to work with me for a day and teach my boss the basics of logic?
What a douchebag. That brings the total of cars we have to tag up to three.
i had a teacher with a no missed days period policy. i feel your pain. as well as the pain of a weighted B- forever marring my transcript. because i skipped three times, he gave me a D on the midterm, and thus it was impossible to get higher than a B-. didn't matter that i had the flu, oh no. doesn't matter that there's no cure for the flu, no sirree.
then again, my parents still think it was because he's a muslim and thinks women are lesser beings. and i did get the second-highest score of any girl in that class (with a 62%)... hmm...
but i'm sorry you have someone like that too.
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