Listen. I hate stopping at crosswalks, but I always will, because I appreciate it when people stop for me. However, I hate even more, having to stop in between them, thus adding to my brake wear and transit time.
Starting a few days ago, every time I must drive down Magnolia, I arm myself with my air horn.
Anytime I see someone blocking my progress or even attempting to, I give them a nice warning from my horn and yell at them. The monologue usually is something to the tune of "Hey dicknose! Use the fucking crosswalk! It's only 7 fucking feet away!"
I don't know how many people I've made to think they are about to die, but every single motherfucking one of them deserves it.
Why the air horn, you might ask? Just because. No matter how loud they may have their iPod nano turned up, I guarantee I'll get their fucking attention.
P.S. If you are one of these people who shows no regard for the bold fucking white lines on the pavement, never let me find out, because we are no longer friends.
Posts
1 comment:
That air horn is definately loud. Remember when you scared the shit out of me at the storage place?
I'm afraid to NOT use the crosswalks on Magnolia because people don't look where they are going half the time even when there is one. I'm not about to risk my life just so I can get to Subway faster.
They are supposed to be cracking down on jaywalkers in that area. Hopefully one day you will see someone get ticketed and be filled with glee.
Post a Comment