Ph.Don't

Yesterday I went into the Journalism and Mass Communications office to find the head of my department. I didn't know who it was, so I asked one of the secrateries. She replied, "Mary Helen Brown." Then she pointed to a door outside the office.

I walked over to the door and briefly glanced at the name plate outside. To my recollection, it simply said "Mary Helen Brown."

So I went into the office to find two women in there. Not knowing which was the department head, I turned to one of them and said "Are you Ms. Brown?"

She replied, "That's DOCTOR Brown," in the snottiest tone that she could manage.

Excuse me for not being psychic.

One thing I hate more than anything in the world is when people with Ph.D.'s take a holier-than-thou attitude and get all insulted when you neglect to call them by their full title.

I have the utmost respect for people with higher degrees, but unless you are standing over my broken and bleeding body and stitching some limb back onto my torso, I don't feel any sort of obligation whatsoever to call you "doctor."

So shut the hell up.